#bought a book about asexuality the other day then i read the author's notes and they said specifically “this is about western america btw.

[howdyboh]

(after reading a book made by an usamerican author ->) why is it always about the usa :/

[maxbegone]

IT’S FINALLY HERE!

In an effort to spread some love to the fanfic authors in the Schitt’s Creek community, this post is a compiling of some of our favorite fics! Thank you to every single person who decided to participate in this dedication of love! And to the fanfic authors out there - thank you for being so wonderful and sharing your stories with us! Here’s to many more countless hours of reading - day or night! 

There are repeats! I understand that may seem a little redundant, but I wanted everyone who participated to share their favorite fics regardless of repetition, author, pairing, AU, size, etcetera. 

A very special thanks to everyone who participated! 

@bestwisheswarmestregards // @brighter-than-sunshine  // @danieljradcliffe @darnitdraco  // @imargaery  // @justwaiting23  // @leopxld-fitz // @lickrustdavid // @loveburnsbrighter // @oceanavinfinity @poorguysheadcanon​ // @ratchet // @roguebabyinyourstore @stuck-on-your-heart // @thisbuildinghasfeelings​ // @vulcantastic​ @wlwbaudelaire​

I’m going to go ahead and put everything under the cut, because this should be quite a long post! 

**If there are authors on tumblr whose handles were not properly added, please send me a message!

@bestwisheswarmestregards​

Fic 1: Ace Of Hearts by loveisallyouneed21

Why I like it: It is just really sweet and made me really happy. Plus I like seeing Patrick as an asexual being one myself. I don’t see a lot of ace characters in the media so seeing someone portray Patrick, a character I love, as one makes me really happy. 

Fic 2: An Unexpected Arrival by @justwaiting23​ 

Why I like it: It was one of the first fics I read in this fandom and I fell in love with it. Plus the Brewers are in it and I love anything with the Brewers. 

Fic 3: Hammock by @maxbegone​ 

Why I like it: This fic makes me so fluffy inside. Early morning and snuggles are one of the best combinations. 

@brighter-than-sunshine​

Fic 1: Your Wings Prepare To Fly by @icmezzo 

Why I like it: I’m not the biggest fans of AUs/ Fantasy takes on fics, but the characterization of David and Patrick is so good here. It’s such a beautifully written fic, and I just couldn’t get enough of it when I first read it! A definite reread.

Fic 2: Today and All the Days that Follow by @unfolded73​

Why I like it: This one is one of my all-time favorites, because it explores so many of the relationships between all the characters… I especially love the bits including Stevie and Alexis. 

Fic 3: Little Reminders of our Love by @justwaiting23​

Why I like it: The whole idea of David and Patrick leaving each other notes was too adorable not to recommend this fic!

@danieljradcliffe​

Fic 1: Watching Through Windows by @helvetica-upstart​

Why I like it: Some fandoms have those fics that just inevitably change the game and define what fanfiction can be and for me, this is that fic for Schitt's Creek. It is a staple that everyone's read and continues to talk about and recommend a year after it was published; I'm sure we will continue to talk about it for years to come and to recommend it as new folks come into the fandom.

Fic 2: Until Now Gives Way to Then by swat117 

Why I like it: I just read this one-shot recently thanks to your (feel free to edit this how you need for your post) recommendation of their other fic, 'Exposed Brick.' This is a fic that (for me) completely captures why David and Patrick fit and work so well together and how their pasts have made it possible for them to be who they are as a couple in SC. I haven't read another fic that resonated with my own interpretation and appreciation of their relationship as much as this one. This author truly and completely sees them for all that they are.

Fic 3:  Red White and Blue Jays by @grapehyasynth​  

Why I like it: I saw this fic published earlier this year and wanted to read it so badly but figured I should read the source material (Red, White, & Royal Blue) first so I did and absolutely fell in love with that book (who wouldn't?). I attribute this fic for inspiring me to read Casey McQuiston's book and so when I went to finally read it, I had extremely high expectations and even still, this fic exceeded them. The author does an amazing job of incorporating aspects of the original book (RWRB) while keeping the story true to the characters and relationships we know and love in Schitt's Creek. I read the entire fic in one sitting and then instantly, read it again. It is laugh out loud funny while being romantic as hell and keeps David and Patrick incredibly in-character throughout.

@darnitdraco​

Fic 1: Red White And Blue Jays by @grapehyasynth​

Why I like it: this fic is the reason I bought Red White and Royal Blue. Going into the fic, I didn’t know what the book was about so it was all new to me but it was great nevertheless. Now that im almost finished with the book, I love this fic even more. I know its an AU but I think the characters are written well and I pretty much love any fic when Rachel isn’t made out to be the bad guy. Its 13 chapters and I will 100% be rereading it after I finish the book. 

Fic 2: Nothing Burns Like The Cold by @wildxwired​

Why I like it: This is a one shot and definitely Patrick Centric. I thrive on Angst and Hurt/Comfort. I personally feel like it is Patrick coming to terms with a things he didn’t have control over and him getting closure on things of the past. I don’t want to give away too much of the plot but please read this guys!! 

Fic 3: sometimes good things fall apart by @blueink3 

Why I like it: I have reread this multiple times and it gets better each time. Its only 4 chapters but it isn’t rushed. As I said above, I THRIVE on angst and hurt/comfort. This has both, AND protective Patrick. It is a spin on what could’ve happened after the barbecue and it has a happy ending so don’t worry.

@imargaery​

Fic 1: Dodgeball is f*cking stupid by alldaydream

Why I like it: This is a one-chapter piece that comes in just under 6k and yet the author manages to build a super rich AU experience and tell a complete story that is at once heart-wrenching, sweet, sexy, and thematic. If you want angst that doesn’t last too long, that leaves you feeling warm and fuzzy, this is the one-shot for you. I go back to it as much as I go back to some of my favorite D&P scenes from the show.

Fic 2: if not for you by goingmywaydoll

Why I like it: When it comes to fanfiction about our boys, there’s almost nothing I love more than a high school AU. This is that. But it’s also a ROAD TRIP. What better scenario is there for a slow burn, mutual pining, dialogue heavy love story with plenty of bed sharing and nobody bothering them?

Fic 3: Beneath the Winter Snow by Distractivate

Why I like it: Can you tell I love a good AU? This one’s about the Olympics and it imagines a world in which Patrick and David have already fallen in love, had a relationship, and have broken up. This is a story about them finding their way back to each other--which isn’t hard because they have to be around each other all the time and work through their issues. It’s written with grace and thoughtfulness, and walking with Patrick and David as they learn to communicate with one another and work on healing makes the reunion that much more satisfying.

@justwaiting23​

Fic 1: hit me with your best shot by @ignisgayentia​

Why I like it: This is a bit of a random one but it has stuck with me ever since I read it. It’s a short little AU about David and Patrick meeting at a baseball game where Patrick is one of the players. It’s really sweet and does such a great job of keeping the voices in character, especially with the flirty teasing and awkwardness and is one of those fics I go back to over and over again.

Fic 2: Spills & Thrills by storieswelove

Why I like it: This is one in a series of ‘Meet-Uglies’ that the author has written which I adore but it’s my favourite one out of them. It has the perfect mix of awkward interactions which make you cringe and also really sweet and fond moments between the two of them.

Fic 3: You Can Plan on Me by odofidi

Why I like it: This is a sweet little piece of marital fluff about the first Christmas after the wedding. It fits exactly with my idea about what married life would be like for them and is really sweet, plus I always love it when the Brewers are able to see Patrick so genuinely in love with someone like that so it’s definitely one of my very favourites.

@leopxld-fitz​

Fic 1: best wishes, warmest regards (sent with confetti effect) by reymonova (costiellie)

Why I like it: This fic is just pure fun. The character voices are always perfect, and it’s such a nice addition to the series. This story is full of incredible one-liners and I think about “th*nk y*u” at least once a week. A must-read for anyone who loves a good Stevie-David friendship moment. 

Fic 2: Going Down by @concannonfodder​

Why I like it: This is a perfect AU. Rich David? Check. New York? Check. Patrick’s gay awakening? Check, check, check. This fic feels as real and in-character as any canon events of the show, and the author does an incredible job at lining up a love story for the ages all over again under completely different pretenses. Plus, who doesn’t love a “stuck in an elevator” trope? I would watch 10 movies based off of this.

Fic 3: I’ve Never Liked A Smile As Much As I Like Yours by hagface

Why you like it: I live for college AU’s, and this one doesn’t disappoint. I love how the author repositioned characters and events for a new setting, and David as a picky art major is all I ever could have hoped for. Character interactions are pitch perfect and there’s a true “paint me like one of your french girls” pining moment that was truly glorious. A great read!!

@lickrustdavid​

Fic 1: Tonight I’ll Drift in A Dream With You by torakowalski 

Why I like it: It’s rare to find such a well-written fic with a great family dynamic that makes you feel like you’re almost just reading a script for the actual show instead of an idea. There’s something soft and comforting about reading cohabitation with Alexis and David and Patrick doing there own things on separate sides of the motel room. 

Fic 2: A Week with the Brewers by @justwaiting23​ 

Why I like it: The dynamic with David and the Brewer’s is genuinely authentic and it’s made me flash back to some of my own experiences with partners parents. The fact that Patrick’s totally willing to have sex while his parents are there while David is mortified at the idea is also great and realistic. I feel like this fic also shows how partners grow and learn to communicate with one another and trust them. 

Fic 3: Welcome to Cabaret by @vivianblakesunrisebay​

Why you like it: The concept of David being more included in the whole Cabaret experience was something I definitely appreciated, since during the show I was kind of bummed with the lack of him. Stevie is wonderfully written in my opinion, and I really liked Patrick going on dates with the choreographer and watching David figure out how to cope. 

@loveburnsbrighter​

Fic 1: Small Projects by GCLane

Why I like it: My ultimate comfort fic.  Soft relationship feels and loving, passionate discussion of fiber arts, plus nuanced discussion of coming out and fitting in and what it means to be queer.  Also David trying new things and doing his best, which is also fun (he learns to knit!)

Fic 2: You and Me and This Temptation by @leupagus​

Why I like it: Another comfort fic!  Musician Patrick/manager David.  It's funny asf and super sweet at the same time.  Plus it does justice by Rachel, and made me totally love her.  Also, I was never sold on AUs of any kind and this is the fic that converted me.  I re-read it when I need cheering up and it never fails.

Fic 3: The Moment I Touched Down by rockinhamburger

Why you like it: Patrick learning about David's past and being the sweetest most sympathetic bean :(. This one is full of tragic backstory and good emotional hurt/comfort.  Super cathartic to read, and it makes me want to wrap David and Patrick both in big hugs and protect them from the world.

@maxbegone​

Fic 1: my heart was broke, my head was sore by @blueink3

Why I like it: This was the first fic I read since coming into the fandom. It’s canon-divergent, which, as it turns out, I kind of love. It’s so beautifully-written; a story about David meeting the Brewers much sooner than he anticipated, under unforeseen circumstances that take Patrick back to his hometown - and David is right along with him. And just like in every universe, Marcy Brewer is an angel.

Fic 2: Cleanser by @cypress-tree​

Why I like it: Hello and welcome to my comfort fic! This is just the most soothing story. It’s my wind-down fic, and every single time I read it, it makes me want to do my own in-depth skincare routine (that I already do morning and night). But it’s not just about that - it’s about Patrick taking a look at his identity as well. It’s all so tender and sweet, and so intimate in its own lovely way. David pampers Patrick a little bit and shows him that “femininity” and “masculinity” do not have rigid divides. And the first time I read this, I was wearing a mask from LUSH.

Fic 3: keep my spirit strong, you do by fishypots

Why you like it: Content warning; eating disorders, food issues. This hit me square in the chest. It resonated with me in a way I knew it would but struck so much more within me. By the end of it, I was smiling because of how represented I felt. I know this is a difficult topic for some, but I needed to share this fic. As someone with dysmorphia and struggles with disordered eating, it was such a comfort to read about David, who is a character so vulnerable and his partner who doesn’t pester him with questions. Instead he listens, he does a little research (it’s Patrick, of course he does), and remains by him. It’s all written so realistically and tenderly, and without any jabs or awkward nods toward body image. This will forever be at the top of my list.

@oceanavinfinity​

Fic 1: I Carry These Heart-Shapes Only to You by ladyflowdi, ships_to_sail

Why I like it: It is a work-in-progress au set in Paris during WWII. Patrick is a soldier on leave, and David is a gallerist who sailed to France to help Alexis (as usual). The characters are so, so true to canon, and the world building of Paris in that era will whisk you away from your current place. I love it.

@poorguysheadcanon​

Fic 1: bright lights by falconeggs (series)

Why I like it: my favorite schitts creek fic is definitely the series “bright lights” on ao3!

@ratchet​

Fic 1: In the Temple of Artemis by MoreHuman 

Why I like it: This story has Stevie exploring (with some help) the identifier of Aromantic after navigating what she thought were her romantic feelings for David. Really sensitively written, with a scene that almost perfectly puts into words my feelings about David & Stevie’s soulmate-esque relationship.

Fic 2: David Rose, Your Husband Is At Guest Services by @patricksdavid​ 

Why I like it: Husbands! At Costco! Giant muffins and comically large bags of doritos! 2071 words of pure domestic fluff! What more could you ask for?!

Fic 3: Fifteen Hundred Miles by MoreHuman 

Why I like it: Okay so. This is very new as part of the Reel Fic Fest, but I needed to include it. I love Wild, both the book & movie, and I am very much a “deal with my problems by hiking/biking in the forest” so this spoke to me immediately. Patrick and David meet as strangers hiking 1500 miles of the Pacific Crest Trail. There’s nature, pining in nature, tent shenanigans, tent emergencies! Stevie being an excellent friend from afar, a cribbage board, journaling, secret trail register entries, David in flannel, and an ever-present toque. It’s just a really satisfying and calming 30k words with literally 2 characters. I read it twice in 12 hours.

@roguebabyinyourstore​

Fic 1: Fifteen Hundred Miles by MoreHuman 

Why I like it:​ I like a good AU as much as the next person, but this one is just STUNNING. The descriptions of the pain and struggle endured by both men, both physical and emotional, was vibrantly visceral. David and Patrick’s relationship bloomed organically and you are hooked on their journey through the wilderness as they grow closer and eventually fall in love. Plus it’s Patrick’s POV. What’s not to love?

Fic 2: Getting Over Getting Older All The Time by Distractivate  

Why I like it:​ You’ve heard of slow burn? Well meet glacial burn. This masterpiece takes us through 10 years of friendship, of missed opportunities, of pining and heartbreak. But most importantly it shows what we all knew - David and Patrick will find their way to each other regardless of time and distance. Also Patrick’s POV, I sort of love Patrick Brewer.

Fic 3: You Could Be The One by bigficenergy 

Why I like it: ​I have a soft spot for early relationship David and Patrick. But almost no fic does it quite like this. This fic highlights points from our boys’ developing relationship scored by the incomparable Carly Rae Jepsen. This fic is so true to the characters, their voices and their story, that it’s all one giant headcanon for me. This fic is part 1 of a larger series and I highly recommend all of them.

@stuck-on-your-heart​

Fic 1: a kiss from a rose by mihaly ( @davidroseshusband​ )

Why I like it: This was the first multi-chapter fic I read when I joined the sc fandom, and I hadn’t read fic of any kind in over a year. It’s a brilliant story where Alexis stars in a reality-dating show. All the characters are portrayed so perfectly in this fic, and you can hear their voices in every piece of dialogue. It’s sweet, it’s hot, it’s everything you could want in an AU. This story helped me fall in love with fic again so it has a very special place in my heart. 

Fic 2: Rose’s Eleven by leupagus

Why I love it: This story honestly feels like a movie. I know the concept is based on a film franchise, but the writing in this fic is truly exquisite. It’s so complex and gripping, and there’s a heist which is always a good time. Despite the very different world these characters are in, they are still true to themselves, so it’s very exciting to see how they interact with one another in this universe. This is such a fun read from start to finish and just thinking about it makes me want to go back and read it again.

Fic 3: Simply the Vest by orphan_account

Why I love it: If you couldn’t tell, I’m obsessed with AUs. This fic is such a satisfying AU because it incorporates several tropes that we all know and love. In this story, Patrick is an FBI agent, and he has to go undercover as David’s boyfriend. So right off the bat there’s fake dating! And then it has pining because our boys are dumb! AND THEN it has a little smut if that’s your cup of tea. And while all this is happening, Patrick is being capable and looks very dashing in his FBI vest.

@thisbuildinghasfeelings​

Fic 1: Happy to help by @vivianblakesunrisebay​

Why I like it: This was the first Schitt’s Creek fic I fell in love with when I started exploring what was out there after bingeing the show for the first time. It’s basically a deep dive into Patrick’s POV from Motel Review through Grad Night. It really helped me appreciate Patrick as a character when I was fairly new to the show. I think I formed a lot of head canon regarding Patrick’s life and backstory based on the things I enjoyed in this fic. And it’s just incredibly well written.

Fic 2: turn down the lights, turn down the bed by @hudders-and-hiddles​ ( @wild-aloof-rebel​ )

Why I like it: I love this take on David and Patrick remaining just business partners until Rock On. I can be a bit of a canon purist, so I’m really picky when it comes to AU fic. However, there are actually quite a few I enjoy in this fandom. My favorite thing about this one is that it has the exact right amount of angst, to the point where it’s almost physically painful, but in the best possible way. Especially because you know how it’s going to end. This is angst with a happy ending executed perfectly. And it’s so good that it holds up to multiple rereads.

Fic 3: my heart was broke, my head was sore by blueink3

Why I like it: Another canon divergent AU that I love. This one diverges from canon after Grad Night, at which point Patrick has to go home for a family emergency and David goes with him. What I really love about it is how it puts Patrick in a position to be truly vulnerable and gives David the opportunity to kind of be the strong one and really take care of Patrick. This is something we don’t get to see to this extent in canon until maybe Meet the Parents, so it’s nice seeing it here so early in their relationship. Also, it’s just so beautifully written.

@vulcantastic​

Fic 1: no other version of me i would rather be tonight by wardo_wedidit

Why I like it: I’ve always enjoyed the concept of love languages, and it was so sweet watching David do so much for Patrick to show he loves him. Of course, it stems from fear and anxiety that David isn’t doing enough for Patrick (especially with Alexis egging him on), which reads very realistically to me. I think we as the audience tend to forget that David  has never had anything like this before, has never experienced the love of someone like Patrick. He’s still learning how to accept that love and return it, in his own unique ways. This fic does a great job of examining that.

Fic 2: Exposed Brick by swat117

Why I like it: To me this is the perfect “Patrick and David visit New York” fic. Patrick is characterized so beautifully here; we not only see how he aims to please throughout his relationship with David but in his interactions with Rachel and his family as well. I imagine there was a lot left unsaid on the show regarding Patrick’s uneasiness about moving to New York and David’s ultimate decision to stay with him in Schitt’s Creek--this is explored wonderfully here. Plus, as a new New Yorker, it was really nice to read about all the iconic places in and around Manhattan.

Fic 3: we’ll take the world together by sonlali

Why I like it: I am a sucker for stories that examine David and Alexis’ relationship before the start of the show. This fic in particular is heart-wrenching, touching on the trauma both siblings likely experienced before we as viewers knew them. I love the idea of David as protector of his younger sister, and to see that sentiment returned by Alexis now that they have grown (physically and emotionally) while living in Schitt’s Creek is beautiful to read.

@wlwbaudelaire​

Fic 1: you’re my peace and my quiet by chocobos

Why I like it: This fic is just so soft and sweet and always puts me in a good mood whenever I reread it. It’s wonderfully written and I can truly see this as an actual scene in the show. 

Fic 2: Terrified But The Truth is This by ryry_peaches ( @loveburnsbrighter​ )

Why I like it: As someone who’s had a headcanon that David is autistic since I started watching the show, this was the first fic I saw pertaining to it. I was happy to see how well it was portrayed, especially giving how poorly I’ve seen fics portray autism in other fandoms, and it even made me see the episode “Girls' Night” in a completely different light. 

Fic 3: Putting Down Roots by @this-is-not-nothing​

Why I like it: Absolute domestic fluff is my jam and this fic delivers it and then some. It gives me everything I could want in a post-canon fic where David and Patrick are happily married and living in their cottage.

Again, thank you to everyone who made this post possible! I am so happy we were able to spread some love and cheer to the fic writers of this community! Sending so much love to each and every one of you, and I’m hoping this provides some new material for the community to discover as well! 

[unhingedthinking]

Unhinged Thinking’s Reading List for 2019

Because I’m currently re-shelving my book collections sans depression cleaning and also in preparation for the last few “Happy Christmas to me” presents coming Monday, I thought I’d post my 2019 reading list that I want (or need) to read this year.

This is sort of an accountability thing for me to check back to as I only read like four actual novels last year. In my defence I did read like 100 journal articles and several academic chapters in lieu of novels, but I want to tap back into that whole reading for pleasure thing.

Also because I feel like @lovelikesummer would love some unsolicited book recommendations to add to her ever growing list 😉.

I’m a little more diversified this year (there’s even multiple poetry collections on the list!), though it’s still predominantly queer, Australian and canon texts. Links to books are even included for ease if you want to join me in my reading choices :)

Queer Texts

The Monkey’s Mask - Dorothy Porter

A queer crime thriller written in the style of verse poetry. Porter wrote this when she was an in house author at CSU back in the early 1990s. It’s a really interesting bend on genre writing.

All Out: The No Longer Secret Stories of Queer Teens Throughout the Ages - edited by Saundra Mitchell

Queer fairytales written by some of today’s most prolific young adult authors such as Mackenzi Lee and Shaun David Hutchinson

All of It Is You - Nico Tortorella

Queer poetry written by that guy from that show Younger. It’s been on my to read list since early last year, so excited to dig into this one.

This Monstrous Thing - Mackenzi Lee

A queer play on the codes and conventions of Frankenstein, set in the period as Mary Shelley’s classic is published. I got this one from @sanityiscracked for Christmas and I’m super excited to read it as it’s written by the same person who wrote The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue.

The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy - Mackenzi Lee

This is the sequel to The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue, which focuses on the sister of the original’s protagonist, who is a badass asexual scientist. Enough said.

Where the Trees Were - Inga Simpson

Australian indigenous novel that is more of an incidental queer text. I found this one from a list done by Readings and I was drawn to it because a) Aussie queer reads and b) it’s an indigenous text that isn’t set in post-colonial Australia. I’m looking forward to digging into this one to see if I can use it in a classroom context.

Heat and Light - Ellen van Neervan

A three part exploration in storytelling that is by one of the more prominent writers in Australian literature right now. It was shortlisted for the Stella Prize back in 2015, and won the 2016 NSW Premier's Literary Awards Indigenous Writers Prize.

General Fiction

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine - Gail Honeyman

The sister bought this for me for Christmas, and I’m intrigued as to its premise as it’s gotten some good recommendations in a lot of my circles.

The Wisdom Tree series - Nick Earls

This is a set of five novellas written by a Brisbane author that I got (and personally signed!) at state conference. He recently completed his PhD looking at the novella, and he’s really fun to listen to. The keynote that I got to listen to he outlined how he came to formulate and write each novella. Plus he introduced me to my new favourite ice cream, so that’s cool too.

Burial Rites - Hannah Kent

This one’s off of the current senior text list, and I really want to dig into it as it seems right up my alley. It’s set in 1829 Iceland and based on a true story about a woman’s last days as she awaits her execution for her involvement in a double murder.

The White Earth- Andrew McGahan

Another one from the senior text list. The premise of the novel really grabbed me. It looks at (relatively) contemporary rural Australian life and the power of land and families.

1984 - George Orwell

Yes, I am a horrible person for not having read this one I know. I did in all earnest start this last year, but I got pulled away by about seven other reading commitments and never got back to it. But there is potential that I’ll be teaching it this year and I want to gun for that opportunity because I’m a massive Foucault nerd and any opportunity for me to teach impressionable children about disciplinary power, panopticism and the surveillance state I will take.

If on a Winter’s Night a Traveller - Italo Calvino

This one’s been on my to read list for the better part of a decade, and I recently got a copy of it late last year. It explores different writing genres as you the reader tries to track down If on a Winter’s Night a Traveller.

Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck

Another one that yes, I should have read by now but haven’t. This one I might also end up teaching, so it’s more of a “well it’s been on the list but not that high up so I might as well” for the year.

Non-fiction

Note to Self - Connor Franta

This was an impulse buy at the end of last year as I remember wanting to read it when it first came out. I still haven’t gotten around to reading his first book, but this one stood out to me as it’s like a part diary, part memoir, part creative expression book where he explores the concept of self and authenticity.

Poetry

Milk and Honey and The Sun and Her Flowers - Rupi Kaur

I’m trying to get into more poetry and Milk and Honey was a best-seller from last year that from the excerpts I read whilst in line buying some other books at the bookstore were really good, so I’ve got both of them to read this year.

Academic Literature

The History of Sexuality Vols. 2 & 3 - Michel Foucault

The Second Sex - Simone de Beauvoir

Towards Queer Thriving - Adam J. Greteman

Undoing Gender - Judith Butler

There will undoubtedly be far more academic literature that I will end up reading this year, but these are the main ones that I want to make sure that I read for my studies (and general personal interest).

Aaand that’s it for the baseline reads. There’s others on my list, but these are the ones that I want to get through this year

[inknerd]

October Wrap-Up 2018

So! October’s soon over, autumn is in full bloom and I’ve read some books! It’s been an interesting month - I’ve started and finished my three weeks of practice at school as part of my teacher education programme, and I really feel like I’ve learnt a lot! I did show up in the middle of reading exercises and poetry introductions, so you could say I felt at home, at least!

CIRCE by MADELINE MILLER ★★★★★ | 352 pages | 2 days to read | Published 2018

Like...there’s wasn’t even the slightest doubt that I would LOVE this books - but wow, what an AMAZING book! If you liked The Song of Achilles, you’re probably going to like this one. + Just, everything! Circe as a character, the magic and scenery, the fact that we got even more Achilles/Patroclus inbetween the pages??? I loved everything. I was especially pleased to get to know so much more about Circe in general? Like the thing with Odysseus took a while to even get introduced, and all the background information and everything about all the other gods and nymphs - perfect. - Can’t really find anything to complain about. You should go read it. All I hope for now is that M. Miller decides to write even more about characters in Greek mythology.

WILD EMBERS: POEMS OF REBELLION, FIRE AND BEAUTY by NIKITA GILL ★★★★☆ | 150 pages | 2 days to read | Published 2017

I ordered two of Gill’s poetry collection, and this one was the first one to arrive. Lucky enough, I liked it! So I’m looking forward to reading the next one. + Some of the poems I really liked, but I was more amazed by some of the fantastic one-liners that were in most of the poems. - I felt somewhat...underwhelmed? by the poetry at times.

AVGRUNDENS ÄNGLAR by MAGNUS NORDIN ★★★☆☆ | 284 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2013

This is a book I normally wouldn’t be interested in, but at the school I did my teacher’s practice on they read this for class, so I decided to read it! + I was actually pleasantly surprised, despite knowing already that Nordin is a good author. It was a fast-paced and intruiging read, and it was nice seeing how it all came together in the end. - Some of the dialogues and scenarios felt pretty cliché, and the book also had this typical “school book feeling”, like this is the kind of book they’d force 15-16 year olds to read.

WEIRD THINGS COSTUMERS SAY IN BOOKSHOPS by JEN CAMPBELL ★★★★☆ | 120 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2012

Ah, okay, you know those tumblr posts talking about hilarious (and very frustrating) costumers who just ask the stupidest questions? If you like those you should totally read this! + I mean, what is there to say? This book is hilarious to read even if you’re not a book seller or a reader. - Idk, the first part is the funniest? then the second part while fun didn’t make me laugh as hard.

THE GOLDFINCH by DONNA TARTT ★★★☆☆ | 864 pages | *whistles awkwardly* | Published 2013

Okay, so I had a hard time rating this. It took me a long time to read it, or rather I read like 1/4 in like 3 months and then the rest in like, a week? and by the end of it I was like “...okay”. + Tartt’s writing is amazing, okay. The language, the structure, all the info pumped into the story about art and everything is so interesting to read about. I also quite liked the ending, which is what I’m usually critisizing when it comes to most books? So yeah. - I didn’t really connect with the main character? Or any character really. And at many points in the story I wondered “but what is the point with this???”. It’s a really dense book, in many ways, and I would recommend it at the same time as awkwardly shaking my hand and say meh?

THE WITCH DOESN’T BURN IN THIS ONE by AMANDA LOVELACE ★★★☆☆ | 208 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2018

So according to goodreads I rated The Princess Saves Herself in this One 4 stars, and I can’t remember enough of it to know if I actually liked it more than I did this one, but oh well. I enjoyed reading this, anyhow. + I especially liked the poems dedicated to other media like The Handmaid’s Tale or Hamilton, it was fun catching the references! Also? The red text on all that white? So pretty.  - While I really liked some of the poems, I can’t say I got a favourite, and it just wasn’t completely my style, I guess?

FIERCE FAIRYTALES: POEMS AND STORIES TO STIR YOUR SOUL by NIKITA GILL ★★★★☆ | 176 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2018

Gill’s second poetry collection that also has a fairytale theme!!!???? I knew I was going to like it. + Okay, first of all: The Cover? Amazing, stunning, beautiful. I liked the poems in this collection more than in Wild Embers, for some reason, maybe because anything with fairytales in it makes me like it like 50% more. - I didn’t get a clear favourite and at moments I sort of, didn’t agree with the interpretation of the fairytale? If that makes any sense. 

THE COLLECTED POEMS by SYLVIA PLATH ★★★☆☆ | 349 pages | 21 days to read | Published 1981 (Poems from 1956-1963)

It seems to be a month of poetry, huh? This I’ve been reading for a while, simply because it was so long; practically all of Plath’s poetry, of which I wasn’t familiar with at all before. + Sometimes they really got to me, and I noticed I liked a lot of poems one year only to drift away the other, which was interesting. In the back of this collection there was also an article about Plath’s life and other bonus stuff with notes on some of the poems (how and why they were written etc.). - I somewhat wish I’d bought the poetry collections as they were when published by Plath rather than in one thick book. It made it very slow to read. I also was quite bored with some of the poetry, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I prefer Plath’s writing in prose rather than in poetry.

TASH HEARTS TOLSTOY by KATHRYN ORMSBEE ★★★☆☆ | 367 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2017

Lately I’ve been so excited to read more books with asexual characters in it, and this was high on my list! (Well, it’s not a very long list. Yet) + I always love to read about fandom and all that includes, and I’ve never read a book about people making a youtube series before and I thought Ormsbee was very creative regarding the Anna Karenina retelling. The friendships in this book was also something I enjoyed. - With that said I didn’t think this book was that special? There were several relationships dramas that I wasn’t overly interested in and in the end it left me wanting for something more (but this can once again also be because of me not being super interested in contemporary)

RENEGADES by MARISSA MEYER ★★★★☆ | 552 pages | 2 days to read | Published 2017

I’ve heard so many people reading and liking this book, and it sounds just down my alley! Superheroes and supervillains? Sign me UP. + All the characters and their respective powers and hero-names were all so creative and fun to read about. I like the detail going into their costumes and also the sides’ different aesthetic in general. And, the ending? Awesome. I’m so pumped for the next book in this series! - I did find the world Meyer described interesting, but it also left me with some questions that I hope are answered in the sequel. I’m also surprisingly not very invested in the main romance? Like, it was sweet but I had expected something more of it.

THE PRICE GUIDE TO THE OCCULT by LESLYE WALTON ★★★★☆ | 272 pages | 3 days to read | Published 2018

I really liked The Strange and Beautiful Sorrows of Ava Lavender, so I was so excited to read another magic realism book by Leslye Walton! + The atmosphere of the story and the scenery were PERFECT for autumn and Halloween, so I definitely read this book at the perfect time. The story of the Blackburn family and their powers were so interesting to read and the magic system was so cool and horrifying at the same time! - The main romance (and the side ones) felt like they sort fizzled out by the end, and I also felt like a lot of the action scenes or choices Nor and company made were so cliché in contrast to Walton’s otherwise magical and original writing. And also, the ending? It was good but will there be a sequel??? Because that ending is not satisfying to me if there’s not a sequel, and I think there won’t be, so.

GOOD OMENS by NEIL GAIMAN & TERRY PRATCHETT ★★★★☆ | 412 pages | 14 days to read | Published 1990

Okay, so I actually started reading this about a year ago, but for some reason I forgot about it and started reading something else. Then, a couple of weeks ago, I saw the trailer for the upcoming TV-series adaption of this book and went “NOW I HAVE TO READ IT”. + Like, it’s hilarious. Not much to say there. Just, the characters and their personalities and all the anecdotes about history and the Bible were just so spot on funny. The story in itself is also so such an interesting and fun concept. - I think I’ve had the same small problem with Gaiman’s work before (haven’t read anything else by Pratchett) and that is that while all the characters introduced are skillfully made and bring some relevance to the story I always want to get back to the main characters (or who I, personally, see as main characters) rather than read about a random construction worker or delivery man (but okay, the chapters with the delivery man was super funny).

[novelsaboutqueerpeople]

Review: The Second Mango, by Shira Glassman

This is not an unbiased review. I freaking love this book and all of its sequels.

Let me back up.

@shiraglassman sent me an ask back in the earlier days of this blog (i.e. several years ago…) asking if I’d be interested in reading her upcoming book. In her words, it was to be the adventures of “a gay woman, a straight woman, and a dragon.” I promptly went “SOLD” and bought the ebook when it came out (no pun intended… that’s a good pun though).

In summary (and hopefully without too many major spoilers): Shulamit, our gay woman (as it were) has just been crowned queen of the tropical nation of Perarch. But, she hasn’t really gotten confident in the role yet, and she also has two problems: one, she can’t eat wheat or poultry and has only barely convinced her cooking staff to believe her… with the exception of (two) Aviva, her sweetheart, who recently left both the palace and Shulamit with no clear explanation.

Which is why Shula sneaks out, gets in trouble, and has to be rescued by our straight (but demisexual!) woman, Rivka. Riv is a bounty hunter, disguised as a man, who has a horse that can turn into a dragon. Shulamit learns her secret by accident, asks Rivka to help her find a new sweetheart, and they end up becoming best friends. They plan a trip around Perarch on dragonback, but their first stop ends up being a temple whose residents have almost all been turned to stone by a sorcerer. There’s nothing for them to do but go to the sorcerer’s lair and try to set things right. (But as they do, they may just both find the sweethearts they’ve dreamed of. No, not the sorcerer. I can’t explain or I’ll spoil a couple of plot twists!)

Now, I read a fair amount of epic fantasy, and the Mangoverse is on a much smaller, friendlier scale. I had to adjust to that; in fact, the very first time I read the book I wondered if the ending was a little too neat. Then I found myself going back and rereading, because it was just so nice to have a book with queer characters and color, light, and happiness. So I changed my mind.

A couple of other notes: first, I haven’t mentioned yet that the entire cast of the book is Jewish (as is Shira Glassman) and almost all the major characters in the series (excepting Rivka and one other person) are non-white. Jewish celebrations and Shabbat are an important part of the worldbuilding.

Also, I really, really love Rivka as an asexual-spectrum character. I actually related to her part of the story more than Shulamit’s, probably because my brain works in a similar way.

In short, I’ll talk about how great this book is until I’m blue in the face; apologies, Shira, that it took me so long to do so semi-officially!

The sequels are also awesome, and I will get to them in future posts. In the meantime, here is the author’s masterpost about the series and where to get the books. (They just got new editions with rad updated cover art.)

[theamazinguchihabruhs]

Bang Crush part 3

Also read-> part 1 , part 2

"Hey, I am home," I said as I put my bag down in the corner of the room. I looked up seeing Izuna point at the tablet that Itachi was holding and looking at as if it was some new discovery. Whatever they were watching ended, both Shisui and Itachi looked up at me.

“What?” I asked.

“Are you flirting with your chemistry professor?” Shisui was the one to speak up. My eyes widened.

"What? Why are you asking?!" I grabbed the tablet from their hands and tapped my finger on the play button. "Uzumaki fucking Naruto…" I hissed seeing a video of how I fell on Nardo's lap and remained sitting there. I guess it was obvious to them that I had a bang crush. I was actually looking decent for once.

"Is it true?" Itachi asked the clueless expression remained in his eyes.

“I am not in love with him.” I wasn’t lying...I was not in love with Nardo.

“We are asking if you had a crush.” Damn it, I should have known I couldn’t get around it.

“Uhm..It is called a..A bang crush.” I looked at Itachi.

"Bang cruuussshh~" Izuna raised his cup of tea.

“You knew about this?” Itachi asked.

“Yes, I was the first one who knew.” Izuna bragged.

"I told Sakura, she told...Izuna." I sighed, "Listen, it is really nothing. I am not going to act on it. I just...Flirted a little." Itachi stood up and walked towards the bookshelf.

“What are you doing?” Shisui asked.

"I am not prepared for this," Itachi said and grabbed a book before sitting down.

“You have...A parenting book?” I questioned.

"Bought it the moment mother went to the mental institute," he said, going through the pages. "There is nothing about it." He turned his head to Shisui.

"Maybe Google what to do?" Shisui grabbed his phone, "What am I supposed to type in the search bar. What to do when your little brother has a crush on the professor?"

“Try daughter instead of little brother. I bet it has more results." I was getting ignored like I was a hard question on a test and got skipped.

“What is going on?” Obito looked confused as he got downstairs. I let my head hang the moment Shisui and Itachi both started telling him everything.

"Eeey~ Bang crush!" Obito said, causing Izuna to repeat after him, "But really both of you get off the internet. We will just talk this through."

“Please go back on the internet,” I said.

“Don’t be shy Sasuke, we all have our weird crushes. You are just a teenager experiencing-”

"Ennoouuugggghhhh~" I wanted to shelter my ears from his misery talk.

“What is our plan? Send him to boarding school?” Itachi asked.

“No!” Izuna and Obito both shouted.

"Come on, we all had our fair share of crushes. I mean, did you guys not see me wink at the ice cream man every time he gave me a free scoop." Izuna said, crossing his leg and leaning against the armrest. "It will pass….Through sex." He muttered the last part and I rolled my eyes. I swear this half an hour that they kept talking about my crush and about my ‘teenage hormones' made me cover my ears.

“I don’t want to talk about it!” I shouted.

“Come on, Sasuke. You got to tell us,” Obito tried to pull my hand away.

"Maybe we should call Namikaze, he seems like one of those good dads. He surely knows what to do." Shisui said.

“If he was such a wonderful dad, explain Naruto.” Itachi sounded salty.

"Wonderful dad, wonderful kid. For crying out loud Itachi, he sent us that video because he cares."

“Enough! You guys really want to hear about my sex dream!? Fine! Hear it! Listen to it! Alll theee waaayyy~!!” I was so pissed right now.

“Sex? Are we talking about sex?” Madara took his coat off once he entered the room and suddenly got a long explanation about how I was sexually attracted to my chemistry professor.

“So you are not asexual?” Madara asked and then raised his shoulder, “Eh.”

“You don’t care?” Both Itachi and Shisui said at the same time.

“Dude, look at Sasuke..No way that guy is even considering it. He probably thinks the kid is pathetic and slow with learning. That is why he is babying him around...Aren’t we all?” Madara said before sitting down.

“Thanks...I guess.” I frowned, “I mean...What do you mean he is not even considering it…I mean...I can be ..Sexy? Right?” I suddenly heard all my brothers laughing loudly. “Can I be cute?” I asked and saw them look at one another rather...Awkwardly. “Hashirama said I am cute.”

"He was just being nice," Izuna said looking at his nails in an arrogant way.

"You are the guy people think about when they choke themselves while masturbating. Y'know when there is no wifi or magazines laying around...Or commercials….Actually, let me rephrase that. A guy that is stuck in the woods, that would choke himself while masturbating..In wolf shit." Madara said, "Either way..We don't have to worry at all."

"I guess you are right. A professor won't risk his career just to be Sasuke's bang crush."

“Bang crush.” Izuna raised his glass again.

“What if he does?” I asked.

"You didn't mention your teacher being blind and paralyzed." Madara got up from the couch. "Nothing to worry about."

“I swear to God if I managed to bang him I will film it...And you guys will watch.” I hissed before realizing what I said,”Ugh no..Poor you guys, you will judge me on my lousy performance. Nevermind the tape!” I got up. “But since you guys don’t think I can do it anyway...I won’t stop trying!”

"I am not adult enough to handle this," Itachi whispered in Shisui's ear.

"Yeah, I have no idea either," Shisui added.

"Officially we will blame Obito and Madara if something happens," Itachi said.

“I will make sure they sign the legal papers.” Shisui got up and walked towards the dining table to grab his laptop.

That night I was staring at the ceiling, thinking of every ‘ugly' joke I had heard so far. I sighed before allowing my hand to go through my hair, I grabbed my bangs and looked at it.  How could it be possible all my brothers were so good looking and here I was..Being the ugly duckling. I sighed and grabbed my phone from under my pillow. I was going to write an email to Nardo, explaining to him that the next lesson I would be in a little late because of a doctor's appointment, but after that Naruto mentioned the rash I had..I figured to be straight forward and tell him I would come in late because of my "monthly blood donation" and if I would need a doctor's note or not. I better ask Itachi now before I would have to go around the entire hospital to find him. Honestly, I didn't want to miss more than the first ten minutes of Nardo's class. I was learning too much and yes...I just want to enjoy every second I could get with the man.

“Hey,” I heard Izuna say as he opened the door to my room.

“What do you need?” I asked and put my phone on the nightstand.

“Hmm..I thought what Madara said was sort of mean.” He went to sit on the edge of the bed. I let go of my hair, allowing it to fall on my face.

“I wish I could say shit like, I don’t care about beauty, it is the brains that count..But I don’t have that either.” I sighed and sat up, “What I have is the ability to shoot people and beat them...to death.”

“You are a wonderful author. We have read your fanfiction,” Izuna chuckled.

"It is not good...Nothing is." I laid back down, putting my hands behind my head. "What if legit..Nobody is able to love me?"

“I will fuck you, don’t worry.”

“I appreciate that.” I sighed.

“Come on, you are very good looking,” Izuna climbed on top of me.

"You don't have to lie to me. I have eyes and a mirror to look in."

“You are just not embracing your beauty..And seven years of combat training.” He pulled my sweater up, all the way to my chest, “Behold! Sasuke’s inner beauty!”

“Knock it off,” I tried to get him off me, but he refused.

“One picture, come on!” Izuna reached for my phone before lowering my sweatpants so they hung dangerously low, “For reference!” he shouted. I laid my head back down and held my pillow.

"Why won't you just use google!" I closed my eyes annoyed. I felt Izuna's hand ruffling my hair up.

“Just making it look like you had a rough night.” He smiled and I opened my eyes, looking at him with half lidded eyes.

"Wha-" I couldn't even finish what I said before I saw a flash. "My eyes!" I hissed, shutting my eyes.  

“Perfect! See you can be sexy as hell!” Izuna turned his phone.

"Eeeiik!!" I got up staring at his phone screen. "TOO ECCHI! DELETE IT, DELETE IT!" I tried to grab his phone, but he pulled it back. "You played me!"

“I am just going to send it to Madara! So he can take his words back!”

“You said reference! Don’t send it! He insulted me enough for a day!” I tried to get the phone back.

"He will take his words back! I will send it to Tobirama, sure he will fap to it!" Izuna laughed and I managed to grab my phone back, wanting to delete the picture if it wasn't for the loading sign.

“Sent" My heart stopped beating seeing the animation on the screen of an envelope reaching a mailbox. "Sent…" I repeated and quickly pressed on the "sent emails" seeing the last email I sent was to "Professor Sunray!" I shouted pressing on it and seeing both ecchi pictures Izuna took.

“What? What?” Izuna asked. I looked up.

"I can never show my face to him again...I have to kill myself." I was being rather serious. Izuna grabbed my phone and gasped before chuckling.

“Oooh! Guy has no idea what is coming to him!” Izuna laughed.

“Izuna!” I shouted, hiding my face in my hands.

"Don't worry! Don't worry!" Izuna repeated, typing something. "We just tell him not to open the first email. That it is was a misunderstanding and it contains some private documents you would appreciate him not looking at."

“What will stop him from looking at it!” I shouted.

"Hey...If he is interested in you. He will look at it, probably fap to it." I smacked his head when he mentioned "fapping" again. "Listen, you go tomorrow. If he blushes when he sees you. It means he opened it and I can't blame him for saving the images. In other words,"

"I have a shot..With my bang crush." I gasped, "What if he is straight and is disgusted by the picture?"

"Then he turns gay," Izuna smiled, "The guy wears an orange tie, you have nothing to worry about!"

“Okay...I need to relax...I will just go there and the worst case scenario he asks me what the fuck is wrong in my head and I can lie it was meant for...My girlfriend or some shit.” I looked at Izuna typing.

"Told you Tobirama would fap to it." He turned the screen of my phone, apparently, now I had sent that picture to Tobirama now and he hadn't responded for two minutes..Even though he was online.

"He is questioning me…He is probably showing Hashirama and they're laughing their asses out. Why did you do this!" I shouted.

‘He responded!” Izuna turned the screen again.

"Is this the same hobo we know?" He asked. Of course, he knew it was Izuna that sent him the pictures. I would never. Izuna texted back: "I KNOW RIGHT!"

"Give me my phone back!" I demanded.

Oxoxoxo

I knocked and opened the door of the lab, seeing everyone looking at me. I turned my head to the blackboard seeing Nardo putting the chalk down. My heart started beating faster and this awkward silence took over.

“Overslept?” Sakura asked.

"I..Uhm..Was at the hospital." I said holding up the note Itachi wrote for me.

"Right.." Nardo wiped his hands off on his pants before reaching for the note. His hands awkwardly stopped halfway, he extracted his hand, then reached for the note again and grabbed it. "Uhm yeah…" He scratched his cheek, looking down at the sheet of paper. I wasn't sure if he was being dorky or… If he was being nervous. I bit down on my lip and stared at the sink.

"What is written here?" He turned the sheet of paper, but my eyes could not read from so far. I leaned in and grabbed the note. Reading Itachi's handwriting was a skill not many possessed.

“One brain for this sucker…” I read and I felt an imaginary brick fall on my head, hearing the class laugh behind me. Of course...Niisan...You piece of shit.

“I never said my brother was a good doctor.” I scratched my cheek.

"Wasn't he the chief of medicine?" Nardo asked.

"Look at you paying attention to what I say. He is a real tease," He put the note down and leaned in.

“Why did you have to go to the hospital.”

"Eh? No! No! I am as healthy as they come." I said putting my hands up in an innocent way.

"Physically...Mentally is questionable." I heard Sakura shout.

"Physically? I am concerned where all the food goes he eats." Neji commented and I turned my head and glared at Neji. Why the fuck was he paying attention to what I eat, though..It wasn't that weird hearing me say every minute of the day "I am hungry, let's go grab food from the KFC," though Sakura thought I was glaring at her.

"Come on, you go to a therapist so often the therapist gets his monthly living just from you," Sakura said.

“Sakura,” Naruto said and for a moment I thought he was going to tell her to shut up, “Don’t tell him. My dad will go out of business without him.” Everybody laughed again and I turned my head back at Nardo.

"I donate blood, every month," I said before turning to my spot next to Suigetsu.

“Noble.” He smiled kindly before continuing his explanation.  I turned to the blackboard and I couldn’t help having my eyes on his butt.

Time seemed to fly by when you are focused on something. He turned around and put the chalk down.

"Go on," he said. My eyes widened seeing the board filled with words, I looked at my notebook and well..The blank page was probably not going to help me a lot. Everybody else was already grabbing their supplies and getting started while I didn't even get what I was supposed to do.

"Did you pay attention?" Suigetsu asked.

"Give me a minute," I said as I grabbed the assignment sheet and skimmed it before reading it thoroughly.

“Were you sleeping? I thought you were always the eager one with making notes.” Suigetsu commented as he looked at my notebook.

"Forgot your colored pens?" Naruto walked behind me and chuckled slightly. I turned my head around and shook it. His comment was unnecessary. "It always looks like a unicorn took a dump on his notebook."

"Usuratonkachi, it is a scientifically proven fact that people memorize better when using colors!" I stood up and pushed my palm on the table just when Hinata walked by. Apparently, she got startled by the loud sound. She threw the Erlenmeyer and yelped, taking a step back as the liquid fell on my shirt and the bottle shattered on the ground.

“Fuck,” I took a step back, and this thick chemical smell was now hanging all around me.

“I-I am s-sorry!” I looked up and saw tears appear in her eyes. Either she was pretty fucking scared of me, or she didn’t like everyone’s attention on her right now.

“What was that?” Nardo asked and maybe it was the urgency of his voice or the fact that he was frowning.

"I-I don't k-know-" That was a silly response, surely she must have known what chemicals she has put in there. However, she probably was too nervous to think straight.

“Everybody out, now!” Nardo raised his voice to the class before grabbed me by my upper arm. I could see some tears escape Hinata’s eyes. I bet she taught professor Sunray was mad at her. Naruto quickly wrapped an arm around her and I could see her hug him tightly as he guided her out of the lab.

“I didn’t do anything!” I guess it was my natural instinct to claim my innocence, but can you blame me for always getting blamed for the tiniest stupid things.

I could see Hinata hiding her head in Naruto's chest as my sunflower tried to calm her down by stroking her hair. I never felt such hating feeling boil inside me before. I was the victim! Not her! The door closed and I suddenly realized the situation I was in. Nardo gave me a weird look, perhaps my comment appeared concerning to him. He pulled something and I yelped from the sudden cold water. Yet again my natural instincts were kicking in when I wanted to get out of this cold zone, but I got pulled back and I wanted to struggle to get out.

"Sasuke!" I looked up seeing Nardo look annoyed, "Didn't they teach you about the safety shower?!" I shook my head innocently. Honestly, we didn't really do experiments at school, I am not even sure if our small little school lab has a safety shower. "Strip." My eyes widened in shock and I wrapped my arms around me.

“How about some dinner first?” I raised my voice. The sound of the water sounded so loud. I saw him crack a smile. I took my shirt off where the chemicals were spilled.

"Everything." He said pulling his now wet sleeves up.

"Why is this happening to me!" I hissed as I kicked my shoes off and took my pants off, standing in my boxer shorts with my hands crossed in front of my chest. I was shaking from the cold. "My underwear too?"

“What do you prefer?” He raised an eyebrow.

"On...It is cold…" I said and looked around the lab. It was deserted. Nobody to be seen except Nardo. "How long..Do I have to stay under this thing?" I asked.

“Fifteen minutes.” Nardo leaned against the cupboard not far from me.

“How many minutes have passed?” This was getting uncomfortable.

“Three minutes.”

"I can't survive fifteen!" I shouted my hand clenching in a fist as I unwrapped my hands from my chest. I could suddenly see a small smirk on Nardo's face before he looked away. I looked down at my chest before I wrapped my arms around my torso again.

"Are you laughing about my nipples…" I bit my bottom lip before looking at the tiles under my feet, "This is so embarrassing."

“It is not like there is anything that I haven’t seen from the picture-” The words escaped his lips and I could see regret in his face right away.

"You..You...Saw...The picture…" suddenly it wasn't so cold in the shower anymore. My head felt like it was burning.

“It wasn’t my intention!” He put his hands up.

"I had sent you an email two minutes later asking you not to open the first one!" I looked up with desperation clearly shown in my eyes. "Why would you still open it!"

“Hey! Why would you have even sent it?”

“It wasn’t meant for you!” I protested.

"Really, because the email started with: Dear Mr. Sunray." It was as if he had practiced his excuse in his head.

"There is...There is a real big story going before that-" My nails dug into my skin. I was so embarrassed now. "I have nothing to explain to you! Besides! Why would you bother to open the first email when the second one clearly stated that you must delete it! You obviously read the second one before the first one. Why would you still open the first one!"

"Because!" He remained quiet. I guess he didn't expect he would have to defend himself like that. "I was checking my email the moment you sent it. So, when you sent the other, two minutes later, it was too late."

"What a coincidence. 24 hours a day, sixty minutes in an hour and checking your emails takes about ten minutes. What are the odds that within those ten minutes you checked your email when I emailed you."

"For somebody who can't draw lewis structures, you sure suddenly got your math straight." Nardo ran his hand through his hair. "Well, odds remain odds. The odds can be in my favor."

He suddenly remained quiet, "What wait..No..That sounded wrong. Aaaa!" He quickly walked away. I couldn't help but to chuckle. He was so adorable. He grabbed a few supplies and cleaned the broken glass from the ground before putting something on the ground, possibly to absorb the chemicals from the floor. I looked up and saw the water finally stop. I could only assume the fifteen minutes were over. A few drops of water fell down and I was reminded by the cold again. I was shaking and I had goosebumps all over my body.

"Here," I turned my head to look at Nardo who wrapped a big towel around my shoulders.

“Thanks.” He had his hands on my arms as he looked at my stomach where the liquid was spilled. “How do you feel?” He asked me.

"I don't think the chemicals did any damage to my skin. I could always go to my brother if something pops up." I used the towel to dry myself off. "Ugh..Soaked." I looked at my clothes that littered the floor. Was I supposed to wear my wet clothes again? I would turn to ice before I even got outside!

"Well, I wouldn't risk putting on the shirt, but I could put your pants on the heater." He said picking it up, wringing the water out.

“I never felt this clean in my life...” I used the towel to dry my hair.

"Ha, it is still standing up." I felt Nardo's hand go through the back of my hair, "cool." I held a lock of my hair between my thumb and index finger, examining it thoroughly. My hair was a disaster and I just don't understand: Starting from Itachi's straight hair all the way to Shisui's curly one, why I was stuck with the "duck butt". There was such variety in genes and I was stuck with the weird one.

"Something's up?" Nardo asked from next to the heater. I assumed it was a pun because my hair was always standing up in the back.

"I feel so exposed," I said as I wrapped the towel around me.

"Would you want my shirt? Would that make you feel more comfortable?" I wasn't sure if he meant it as some sort of joke, but I eagerly nodded my head. He loosened the orange tie and unbuttoned his shirt before handing it to me. I couldn't look away from his torso, I had to admit….He looked like prince charming. I had to rip my eyes off him to not be so notable, but I was sure from that point my bang crush went from ‘an attempt' to ‘a must'. I put the shirt on. It smelled a little sweaty, but I didn't mind that. In fact, I quite enjoyed it. I let my fingers go stroke the tie.

“You like orange?” I asked.

"Yes, yes I do." He seems a bit distracted as he kicked this big yellow bin towards those sacks that absorbed whatever liquid Hinata spilled. He put them in the yellow bin. "A friend of mine always buys me orange tie for my birthday."

“Sweet of him.”

"Actually, it's his way of telling me to fuck off." Nardo scratched his cheek before kicking the bin in the corner. "So, Sasuke. That is quite an old fashioned name. How did your parents come up with it?"

“Well...My parents didn’t. Have you ever heard of the book: “The adventures of samurai Sarutobi?” I asked, “Yeah, samurai Sarutobi’s name is Sasuke.”

“That is a book that was already considered old when I was a kid.” Nardo grabbed his lab coat from his chair.

“My brother is weird, but it was either Sasuke or Hime and believe me I think this was one of the few right choices of my parents.” I laughed.

“Hime?” he questioned.

"Yes because the doctors couldn't see what gender I was and my parents assumed I was a girl. So, they decided to call me Hime."

“And then you were born and you ended up being a boy. Ironic.”

"Yeah, and then they were left with yet another boy. Sixth try." I said.

"So, actually your name would have been Hime if it wasn't for the weird brother. You owe him."

"I already give him my blood, what more could he want. A kidney, one-eighth of my liver? Bonemarrow? A lung?" I rolled my eyes.

“Sperm?” Nardo gave me a questionable look.

“You may have that.” I didn’t mean for my words to be said out loud and yet...I did. He laughed and I was relieved he took it as a joke.

A knock was heard from behind the door. Nardo and I shared a look before he walked towards it and opened it.

"Hey, is everything alright?" Naruto asked as he entered the lab and gave me the most arrogant look I had yet to see him give. "These lab coats must be hanging here for decoration purposes, dattebayo!"

I returned the arrogant look, but the difference between his and mine was that I was more advanced in it and overpowered his.

"Is Hinata alright?" I asked, crossing my legs, causing this shirt to move slightly more up, revealing more leg. Hey, I was allowed to show my shaved legs off! I saw Naruto turn his head away, rolling his eyes.

"She is fine, she feels very guilty, but it seems you are just fine." He leaned his hand on his hip.

"I am. So you can do what you are good at." I leaned in, "fuck off."

“What is your problem, dattebayo!” Naruto snapped.

"Jeez, I don't know, why don't you make a video and send it to my siblings!" I raised my voice. I saw Naruto narrow his eyes, probably cursing Itachi for leaking the "source".

"I sent it by...accident?" Naruto gave it a shot.

"Oh, just like Sasuke send me that pic-"

"Naaaaahhh professor! I think there is actually a dryer. Perhaps you can put my pants there?"

“Hey! Good thinking!” Nardo said as he grabbed my pants from the heater and walked out of the lab.

"You sent an ecchi picture, to the professor!" Naruto frowned, "What is wrong with you!" Wow...I never saw his idiotic brain work so fast in figuring something out.

"Apparently a lot! If you haven't noticed, I am constantly in sessions with your father! Besides, why would it even concern you what I do? Perhaps I have sent him a rather erotic picture, what is it to you!? If I remember clearly it is my body and I can do whatever I want with it."

"Yes! But!....But…" He remained quiet and lowered his eyes, "I don't think this is what your parents had in mind when they created you." He scratched his cheek.

"Really?" I got off the table I was sitting on, "You are playing that card with me?" I grabbed him by his collar. For a moment I wanted to snap. Tell him how hard it was to grow up like I did. Forgotten, not cared about, hated. I was just a fighting machine and a punching bag at the same time, but my throat numbed. It is just the way how I was...Not able to express my feelings and just turn everything to anger. "Don't talk like you knew them. You know nothing about how fucked up life can be. How could you? You have a perfect understanding father and amazing mother that both love you so much even if you end up as a failure." I pushed him. "So, don't give me that crap!" I hissed.

“I am sorry...That was a low blow.” Naruto rubbed his neck, “but I just care about you, Sasuke. I am your friend.”

"And that is all you are. You can go back to Hinata and just tell her that everything is alright and she has nothing to worry about."

“What is that supposed to mean?” He frowned and suddenly he was back at being his dumb self.

"Get the fuck out. That is what I mean." I tilted myself on the desk. "If you haven't noticed, I am half naked and wet and frankly I am not enjoying it nor am I feeling comfortable at this very moment."

"I should have known that bitch attitude was an Uchiha thing." he shook his head, "You are telling me you feel perfectly comfortable around Sunray but not me? Hell to the no! That is such bullshit, dattebayo!"

“Yeah, I think I am who decides that.”

“You know what, bastard. I hope you get what you want. I really hope you achieve boning that guy. “

“Thank you?” What was I supposed to say…

"And then when he leaves and you lose your virginity to a married man. You will feel like scum-"

“And that is the key to your satisfaction?”

“No… I will still be here...I won’t even rub it in your face.” He said.

“I am...Losing the point of your dramatic speech.”

"Deep inside you will always know. I was right. And fuck, will you live full of regrets."

“So you are going to back off and let me bone him?”

"I warned you." he walked towards the door looking back to meet my eyes one more time.

"I think it is a mistake worth making," I said. I could see him turn his head, his eyes looking at the ground as he left the lab.

oxoxox Special thanks to @emeneska-chan